Monday, April 30, 2007
Family Day Off
We played hookie today. For some reason I couldn't sleep last night and neither could the kids. Kate got up at 3 and CJ at 3:30 and Patti couldn't hardly get out of bed. So we took a mental health day. We slept in. The kids cleaned out their book shelf. I slept some more. We found some great worksheets on line and some in our "Everything you need to know..." books and had lunch and then read under the trees in the backyard. Kate and I cat napped under the trees with the wind blowing through our hair and over our faces. I did a little bit of work and cooked a little and did a few loads of laundry and I have to tell you it was wonderful!! But then, he came home. The kids wanted to see him and missed him, but somehow the energy changes when he comes in. It always seems like we're both disappointed. I think he is disappointed that I don't have my hair done and my makeup on. I tried to ask him about his trip, but he always just sits there looking at me -- each and every time he comes home from a trip -- as if he's waiting for me to do or say something more. I had been balancing the checkbook when he came in so of course he noticed a bill from my computer guy for the wireless network on the table and got all cranky about it. There are so many good things about him ... about us. And then, there is all that is wrong. I find myself asking the Good Lord for guidance -- for some sign that I'm here for all the right reasons. The scary thing is, I have the most difficult time controlling my eating habits when he's home. Not that long ago, I realized I don't eat dsyfunctionally when I'm away from home -- from him. Tonight was no different. I cooked a big supper and didn't mean to take a huge portion, but I found myself eating too much -- as if somehow the extra mashed potatoes and gravy might somehow, magically, make everything feel better ... make sense. So I took the kids out for a walk down to the river bed after supper. I think I needed the evening air to clear out my head -- and after eating too much that late, I didn't want to sit. I have realized that I eat and then sit far too often. I eat breakfast, then sit for 45 minutes or more while I make the commute to Twin Falls. I eat lunch and then I sit at a desk. I eat dinner and then sit after supper. That doesn't seem like it's the best thing for my body, so I'm trying not to do that. It's fun to walk along the river and see what critters have left their prints in the mud. Mostly raccoons and deer -- occasionally I see a fox print or something. The kids decided to play in the gravel pits. I continued around the bend to add some more steps to the day, but the kids basically took a dirt bath. I sent them home to get in the shower -- only to walk in on three kids and three inches of dirt in the tub. How could I be mad though? Dirt is good for the soul, as far as I think. I'd rather have 3 inches of dirt in my tub, than three children sitting in front of the computer or television for three hours. I'm finding it hard to keep my eyes open -- so will head for the comfort of my bed. God willing, I'll get to sleep tonight and not have two of the three children stacked on top of me.