Monday, April 23, 2007

Discharge!

I'm sitting here in shock. It's a combination of awe and surprise and pride and .... wow. After something like three years and buckets of tears and frustration and fear -- through heartbreak and trial and tribulation ... thanks to the love and support and constant ear of dozens of kind and patient friends my counselor told me something I never thought I'd hear: "You're done."
The eating disorder, though it will never truly be forgotten, is done. Over.
I knew I was close. I figured she'd release me toward the end of May, maybe. But today, she released me to conquer the world using the tools I've learned, the internal strength I had buried and have recovered -- to just be me again without fear.
I can't wait. I'm a little scared but I'm pretty sure that's normal.
I keep walking around saying "wow"
Wow.
I worked so hard and now I just have to live it and embrace the freedom it gives me.
Wow.
I'm continually touched at the amazing people that have come in my life -- and have all loved and supported me without question or judgement.
Wow.
My husband who at times who has cause me the most incredible grief I've ever felt, never once criticized my appearance and always said I was sexy -- because of who I am, not because of how I looked.
Wow.
So off I go into my wild blue yonder.

3 comments:

sally said...

WoooooT! Congratulations. That's awesome.

Kel said...

WONDERFUL!! You are so awesome and such an inspiration.

margi said...

Wow! I hadn't read here for a while and I come back to 3 entries! Very cool for being released from therapy. Isn't it the most amazing fucking feeling? Especially when you look back and remember some of the sessions that were full of such horror and despair.
Much, much love!