Sunday, April 29, 2007

Gallery of Rocks

Another perfect day in the big city.
The kids and I slept in with no pressure to be anywhere today. I burned the breakfast sausage, but we had made yummy blue/black berry muffins yesterday -- so it kind of balanced out.
Did a ton of laundry -- still have too much left to do -- but finally got some uniforms back on the hanger so the kids can go to school.
CJ and I sat on the deck and read the paper -- what a perfect Sunday morning! Slight breeze -- warmth ... the birds were out. I wish I knew more about bird calls. One bird makes this beautiful song -- one I heard repeatedly growing up on my dad's farm. When I hear it now, it instantly takes me back to hanging around outside the shop -- with nothing but dirt and my imagination to play with. That same breeze, the same bird -- and the freedom of childhood.
What with all the hard work, I was forced to take my Sunday afternoon nap -- the kids interrupted me twice -- not too bad considering...
Anyway -- this afternoon we took a short drive and then a short hike in the Little City of Rocks. The area forms the western edge of the Bennett Mountains. The place doesn't remind me of a city though -- more like an amphitheater in which hikers are the show for a stone audience.(I'll load some pictures tomorrow) Then off to dinner at the local diner.
It's always fun to swing by at catch up with the town gossip.
I find myself so very conscientious of my appearance -- even though I try so very hard not to. I really want my outside to match my inside now. I know it's a process. I know it will take more than a week. I want it to be instant! I am still struggling with knowing when to eat and how much. I can't decide sometimes, if I'm really hungry or if I'm listening to a voice outside my own -- or if I'm falling into some old habit.
I find that food still takes up so much of my thoughts -- and long for the day when it doesn't. I wonder if alcoholics go through the same process. Do you ever get to the point when you can sit down and not question whether or not you're making the right choices?
The goal for this week is is 6000 steps per day and drinking more water. I think that's pretty doable.
The other thing I'm trying to figure out is managing my myriad of projects without overwhelming myself. Something I've never been able to manage-- at least not for a long time. But each brings me a little closer to the real me -- and it will be so nice to see me again.
Oh! Forgot to tell you-- I have two chapters done of my book. It started out as a biography, but I switched it to a "based on a true story". The fictional me is easier to write. I keep thinking a true story would be too painful for my family, but my intent has always been to write a self help book. But I decided it was better to start in a way that took the pressure off -- we'll see how it turns out....


Kel said...

Hey Karma,
Sounds like you had a glorious day yesterday. And to answer your question, "yes' you will be able to sit down and know you are making the right choices, it just takes time. Be patient with yourself, you are doing a great job!

sally said...

A friend of mine made a really interesting point about memoirs last week. She said another memoirist had told her that there are a number of ass-saving sentences you can use so you don't end up like James Frey.

"But that's not really what happened."
"At least, that's how I remember it."
"As far as I can recall..."
"As I remember, ..."

Just an occasional reminder to the reader that fallible human memory and the need to tell a good story are a part of the memoir package.

I enjoyed the chapters, by the way. Thanks for sending them.

margi said...

Holy shite, Karm, I'm going to have to roll you up higher on my blogroll! I love that you're posting.

Was the bird call "Please God, give me some more wheat?" I learned that from my Dad(surprised? no I didn't think so)but for the life of me can't remember which bird it came from. Sadly, I don't hear that call over here. But, there are other beautiful birds here.