Sunday, November 05, 2006

Remembering Joy

I spent the weekend in Moscow. I had forgotten how much I love it there. My friend Cyndi and I drove up to see our friend Sally in a play. She was, of course, fabulous.
The rolling wheat fields crested by evergreens welcomed me back. It has been seven years since I visited my college town.
As we drove around, I could physically feel the stress leaving my shoulders. I'm not sure what it is about the place -- but I've always felt at home there. Not sure why I actually left now.
It's an eight hour trip for me so had lots of time to think -- and talk with Cyndi. We're both dealing with grief -- trying to figure out how to cope with loss and heart break in our own way.
I've been trying to find time to do the things that bring me joy with limited success so far -- walking around Moscow -- even for a moment was a good start.
Sally does these cool artist trading card things -- So I think I'll do that. I need some breathing space -- as always, but more now than ever. I suck at balance -- I'm two months from 40 and you'd think I'd have figured it out -- but no -- still struggling up that path.
I've also been reminded lately of how much I enjoy being outside -- walking, breathing -- seeing.
I've set a goal of making a hike up Elbow Creek. It's a place I know little about -- it's outside Stanley and once you make it to the top, there's a pool and a view of the Sawtooths. My friend Cassidy told me about it -- and I've become obsessed.
I'll have to train for it -- so Cyndi is helping me devise a plan. I'm going to do it June 21. The Solstice. It seems right -- appropriate. Transition.
I'm going chronicle the training here I guess. Maybe it will make a great book.
I'm scared and the dark voices in my head keep telling me I can't do it. That I haven't given myself enough time to train -- that I'll never make the climb.
Fuck 'em. I'm going to do it. Who is joining me?


Sallyacious said...

Well, Sweetie, my goal, now that I've rediscovered the joy of acting, is to be in summer stock somewhere. But if I'm not, I will happily, happily join you on that climb.

(Here's an interesting note for you: my NaNo novel winds two ribbons of action together. One is my protagonist, trying to change her life. The other is the story of The Woman as she climbs a mountain. Archetypes, much?)

mars said...

I've missed your writing, and glad you're back. I'm doing the "write an entry every day for the month of November" it's quite a challenge.

I always need something to work towards, exercise wise. Someday, I will walk Bloomsday, dammit. Joe will still be in school when you're climbing the Sawtooths, so I'll be thinking of you.